How is that romantic? Like...no. Heartbreak is terrible. If I wanted heartbreak, I'd just stay in my own life, not fork over dough to escape into someone else's!
That's not to say that a person can't love again. Of course they can. But that's a different story. Don't make me root for these people for two hours and then go, "And they're dead now. Sorry!" It's deceptive, manipulative and cheap. The Powers That Be often think they're making some kind of deep and provocative statement with a Big Death...but what they're really saying is that they're happy to take your money after selling you a lie. That is some bullshit right there.
So, without further ado, here is a list of "romances" that are FOREVER on my shit list because there is no happy ending. (Not counting Nicholas Sparks movies. Because duh.) (See also: Romeo & Juliet and all its permutations.) (Also not counting Me Before You and The Fault in Our Stars because I haven't seen them and neeeeeverrrr will.)
1. Out of Africa (My earliest instance of encountering this stupid trope. I don't care if it's
![]() |
She does. He doesn't. |
2. The Last of the Mohicans (I have to sit through hours of white-savior and damsel-in-distress bullshit AND Daniel Day-Lewis dies? No thank you.)
3. Titanic (Goddamn it, Rose. Just scoot over.)
4. Legends of the Fall (In which all the women die so Brad Pitt can live to a ripe old age wracked by manpain.)
5. Up Close and Personal (OMG, stop killing Robert Redford!)
6. The English Patient (Yep, he dies and his love interest dies. Naveen Andrews and Juliette Binoche are the only reason to watch this movie.)
7. Moulin Rouge (An overwrought and culturally appropriative piece of crap + Nicole Kidman dying of TB!)
8. City of Angels (Nicholas Cage gives up his angel status to be with Meg Ryan, who gets hit by a truck and dies. I gave up hours in a theater. Whyyyy?)
9. Brokeback Mountain (I'm aware that it and several other movies on this list are based on written works. I don't care. Stop profiting off LGBTQIA suffering, assholes.)
10. Alien 3 and Once Upon a Time in Mexico (These aren't romances, but Aliens and Desperado gave us Hicks and Carolina and then the next movie took them away and I'm still bitter.)
Dishonorable mentions — in which nobody dies but there's still no happy ending, so fuck you very much.
1. Roman Holiday (I love it to pieces, but I still watch it over and over expecting a different ending.)
2. Casablanca (I'm still not sure how Ilsa leaving Morocco with the husband she doesn't love is a good idea.)
3. Indecent Proposal (In which Robert Redford gets screwed again. Who in their right mind picks Woody Harrelson over him?!)
4. Speed 2: Cruise Control (Not only was this movie a gratuitous money-grab, but it felt the need to break up Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves and replace the latter with Jason Patric. Nope!)
5. The Replacement Killers (How do you have Chow Yun-Fat and Mira Sorvino spend an entire movie eye-fuckig, only to have them part ways? It's like Roman Holiday but with guns!)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi! I accidently suffered this forum and read your post. Its actually an interesting topic. These information you mentioned is not very popular on the internet and not many people know.
ReplyDeleteJav Censored
Hello, i just want to thank you for your excellent article. Keep it well.
ReplyDeleteJapanese Porn
Its very useful, without read your article, it hard to think about. I have found this information at everywhere i can but the result is nothing
ReplyDeleteJav Uncensored
I can't consider one individual,kodi that hates viewing a decent film, yet I can consider a large number of individuals that won't ever consider viewing an instructive program or narrative recordings.
ReplyDeleteFor these paid online film destinations, essentially you just paid a one time enrollment charge and you are permitted access to their chronicles of movies, music, mp3 and so on 123movies
ReplyDeleteThe movie merits viewing with its dazzling and awful scenes. f movies
ReplyDeleteThere are several ways to set up the seating for your movie night. For kids, blankets or bean bags are a fun choice. Adults might prefer chairs or comfortable cushions. Game of Thrones 123movies
ReplyDeleteGreat survey, I'm sure you're getting a great response. kissmanga
ReplyDeleteThe movie depends on a short story by Philip K. Dick, whose work has been the reason for such movies asBlade Runner, Total Recall, Minority Report, Paycheck and A Scanner Darkly. So with apparently some great source material, and an author that can do the part (as shown with The Bourne Ultimatum) we could be in for a genuine treat. watch full movies
ReplyDelete